Election Night Coverage

To catch election night coverage with a distinctly Christian perspective, be sure to listen to the Moody Broadcasting Network. I will co-host in the Chicago studios with Open Line veteran, Wayne Shepherd, and guests including Jim Dobson, Jim Kennedy, Stephen Mansfield, James Robison, and many others. In addition, this Friday morning, Open Line will do a special preview of this incredibly important election.

In the Middle Tennessee area, the local Moody affiliate is WFCM broadcasting from both 91.7 FM and 710 AM.

The Ole Double Whammy

After nearly 30 years of marriage, I have to confess I am still pretty clueless. All that Venus-Mars stuff has left me pretty much perpetually bumfuddled. My friend Ken Pierpont captured the essence of this in a great little vignette at his Stonebridge site. I've never done exactly this--but something just like it about, oh let's say, a dozen times. And to the same effect:

I noticed one day--I suppose my children pointed it out to me--a special quality that gummy bears have. If you lick them and throw them they will stick to almost anything. If you lick them and throw them you can stick them to the ceiling. You can throw them at a car and they will stick to the car. We discovered this one day out in traffic. I was sitting at the traffic light and I noticed an attractive woman pulled up behind me. I had a little difficulty keeping from noticing her. She was very attractive and I had the distinct feeling that she noticed me. In fact I’m sure she was looking steadily at me. Immediately a thought came to my mind. I thought, “It would sure me fun to jump out of the car and do something memorable.” That is when I remembered the special qualities of a gummy bear. I just happened to have a generous supply of them. I grabbed a handful of gummy bears and jumped out of the car. I ran back to the car behind me and quickly fired four or five gummies into her windshield. To my shock I saw something in my peripheral vision. My sons had also jumped from the care armed with their own gummies and they fired away at the pretty woman’s car too.

We jumped back into the car and sped away leaving the pretty woman stunned and motionless behind the wheel. The boys thought it was great fun but later at home when I ran into their mother she let me know immediately that she was not amused. She said most of all when we all jumped out of the car and threw gummy bears at her car she was just embarrassed for us.

It’s not as easy as it used to be to impress a beautiful woman and gain her admiration. When you try sometimes they are just amused and not impressed. Sometimes they are filled with pity not the respect you hoped to gain. Sometimes instead of admiration they’re just embarrassed for you.

I was speaking recently at a home school conference. I told the gummy bear story and I got a big laugh from all the people. After my talk I forgot all about it. But my audience remembered. Three of the young people in particular. They happened to know where I live and where I keep my car. This became very obvious the next day. My cell phone rang. It was my son, Chuck.

“Dad, have you seen your Volvo today?”

“No, what’s wrong.”

“You have to come and see it yourself. Someone has plastered it with at least 300 gummy bears.”